Jonathan Ross is now in great lumber,
Because I've got his telephone number,
And I'm going to keep ringing,
With the effing, and the singing,
And the shouting, disturbing his slumber!

I'll keep making childish, lewd calls.
I'll remark on the size of his balls.
How I slept with his wife.
How she hates her sex-life.
How she laughs when he goes limp and stalls!

And I'll tell him his BBC boss,
Realises he's now a dead loss.
And without any doubt,
They should just chuck him out,
And Licence Payers won't give a toss!

And I'll tell him he just isn't funny.
And he's certainly not worth that money.
So be a MAN Ross and GO!
And as for your "show"
I'd flush that heap of crap down the dunny!!

Anyone want the number? We could all 'ave a right larf keep ringin' 'im up and slaggin' off 'is kids an' that, innit?!
Us yoof of today gotta be "EDGY", innit!!