Report No.8 ... The Doubledee Cup began in 1799 (or was it 1997? ... I always get those two mixed up) when Sir Francis Doubledee single-handedly sailed non-stop round Basingstoke in a home-made go-kart.
He reputedly spent most of his time rowing naked (a la James Crackpot and Ben Feeble) to prevent chafing. Chafing had become a problem due to the fact that his craft was constructed almost entirely from re-cycled fence panels taken (illegally) from Basingstoke Municipal Dump.
During his histeric voyage, Sir Francis spent much of his time in The Doldrums, a sleazy boozer behind B&Q, after which, in his own words " he nearly cipsazed rinding the Cope of Good Hape".
He was welcomed home by a crowd of several Basingstokians who had turned out of Mothercare following a fire drill. His exploits were fully reported on page 3 of the Sun newspaper, but failed to catch the public's attention.
He died a pauper, having twice won the lottery in one week and in a state of intoxication entered Basingstoke Casino and put £7,354,786.43 on Green.
This year BRAS (Basingstoke Residents Association (South)) is reviving the competition for the Doubledee Cup. Entrants must be over 18 months. Bring your own sou'wester. Emergency flares provided. All go-karts must have a valid MOT certificate and insurance cover for Public Indecency.
More later ...
2008-01-16 @ 10:50